How to Handle Emotional Trauma from a Burglary

A Home Break-in Can be Emotionally Traumatic and Scary for Victims

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Dealing with Emotional Trauma After a Burglary - Brad Harrison Photo
Dealing with Emotional Trauma After a Burglary - Brad Harrison Photo
A home burglary can be emotionally traumatic for the victim of a break-in, leaving emotions of violation, fear and anger. Try these tips to cope after a burglary.

A home break-in can be a frightening and emotional experience for the homeowner. Emotional trauma often results from a home burglary, leaving the victim with feelings of insecurity, violation, anger and sadness.

"A burglary is a very emotionally traumatic event for the victim," explained Brett Pelletier, LICSW. "Not only is your home - your sanctuary - invaded and violated, but victims are upset that they've had their valuables stolen. Irreplaceable sentimental belongings are stolen. Your home may be ransacked and your home is usually damaged. Pets can be injured or lost during the home break-in. And essentially every home burglary victim is left wondering 'What if I was home.' It's a terrifying and unsettling experience so it's expected that there will be some emotional trauma following a break-in."

Pelletier, who specializes in counseling the victims of home break-ins and burglaries, offered the following tips for coping with the emotional trauma and distress that a burglary victim can experience.

Report the Home Break to Police

A surprising number of theft victims, burglary victims and car break victims do not report the crime to police. Many assume that there is virtually no chance that the perpetrator will be caught and most are resigned to the fact that their stolen belongings are gone for good.

"If you don't report the crime, there's a 100% chance that the person responsible for the break will not be held responsible for the crime. And there's zero chance that you'll get your belongings back. If you report the crime to police, there's at least a chance that the suspect will be identified and at least some of your stolen belongings will be recovered," Pelletier explained, adding, "Reporting the crime is also the first step toward psychological recovery from the mental trauma that burglary victims experience. You're taking a pro-active stance. You're doing something about it."

Cooperate and Help with the Police Investigation

It's also important for home burglary victims to compile a list of the stolen items, with a detailed description of each item and the estimated replacement value for each item. The sooner police receive this list, the sooner the real investigation can begin, so it's vital to provide this information within 24 hours of when the break-in is discovered.

"Many victims of home break-ins find this a very emotionally difficult process, listing and describing the items that were stolen during the burglary. You have to confront the fact that your safe zone has been violated and that your valuables and items with sentimental values have been stolen. But this confrontation is a vital first step in the healing process," Pelletier explained.

If the House Has Been Ransacked, Clean up and Rearrange

Often, burglary victims feel very violated when they discover their home has been ransacked or damaged. The process of breaking into a home and ransacking a house is a form of violation that conveys a complete disrespect for the victim's home - their private sanctuary. So it's important to clean up the home following a burglary as soon as possible; many victims find this empowering, as they are restoring order to the home in a way that counteracts those feelings of victimization.

Many home burglary victims also find it therapeutic to rearrange the furniture, to re-paint a room, or make other aesthetic changes to the home.

Pelletier explained, "Rearranging or redecorating after a home break-in helps victims to cope. The 'old' house was invaded and violated by the burglar, but this new and improved version of your home is a new environment that's untouched by the perpetrator. It's a way of reclaiming what's rightfully yours."

Improve Home Security and Take a Self-Defense Class

"One major element of the emotional trauma following a break-in involves the loss of the 'it could never happen to me' illusion. Burglary victims, victims of violent crimes and natural disasters often find it difficult to confront their new-found vulnerability. The key is to do something proactive, do something that will prevent future victimization," Pelletier recommended.

A couple of great ways to prevent future victimization involves improving home security features or taking a self-defense class. Many police departments host Rape Aggression Defense (R.A.D) System courses free of charge to members of the community. Securing the home and learning self defense methods can go a long way toward restoring a burglary victim's sense of security.

Home break-in victims may also be interested to read What to Do After a House Burglary for tips on what to do following a home burglary.

Mia Carter, Mia Carter

Mia Carter - Mia Carter - Journalist, Producer/Editor & Web Writer. Carter's work has appeared on CBS and CNN.com.

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32 Comments

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Dec 11, 2008 6:43 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
After someone broke into my apartment in the middle of the night (and I was home -- I won't go in to the gory details here!), I moved to a new place the very next day.

It may not be the most efficient or convenient way to cope with a burglary, but it helped me sleep at night!
Dec 29, 2008 4:07 AM
Guest :
How do you deal with the self-blame and shoulda coulda woulda?
Any steps I take now to protect myself seem weak and misplaced and pointless.
I'm so angry at the people who burglarized my home and I can't even imagine their faces or direct my anger toward anyone... but myself ,for leaving the blinds open and not listening to my instincts to go overboard on home security even though I live in a "good neighborhood."
Mar 3, 2009 4:09 AM
Guest :
We debated on moving, and the next day after our home was robbed, I started house shopping. I walk into my house and I can see strangers making themselves at home and stealing my things. The worst was they stole all of my daughters nintendo wii and wii fit collection... leaving her to tell me, "Momma they stole my Christmas" (she had gotten it all for christmas). But I feel like if I move, they won.

I did repaint some rooms, I scrubbed the house down from floor to ceiling (I guess I thought I was washing away their presence?) once the police gave me the O.K., and now I'm in this stage of anger. Why me, why did you steal from me, why did you destroy my house, where are your parents (we suspect they were two young kids that I saw eyeing my car... sadly I worried more about my car than the house!)

I don't sleep, when I do I have nightmares... The what ifs run through my head constantly, and then I remind myself: My kids are safe and unharmed, and our family pet (a weimaraner named Jack) is okay and still with us. We know the people that broke into our home hurt him and kicked him around as he was VERY scared to come out of the corner and by people, but a check up with the Vet revealed he was okay.

I live on a lake, when it comes down to memories of being robbed, and memories of sitting at the shoreline with my kids as we watch the waves crash over our legs... the lake and my kids win.

I'm pricing security systems, have replaced locks... but I'm still scared, and I think I will be for a long time. But I liked this article, it made me feel like maybe I wasn't crazy for repainting, washing walls, and redecorating things.
...And for now, I just feel violated, insecure, and a bit lost and confused. Always wondering, "why me"
Jun 17, 2009 1:37 PM
Guest :
Just bought a house and 4 weeks later, I was burglarized. I had not even finished painting the last few rooms or finished unpacking. They took everything of value and even personal items. I hadn't had the picture done yet because they were still packed. Four days later I installed an alarm system in the hopes that some of my things will be replaced. The feelings of anger, pain for the loss of heirlooms and jumping at every sound is shattering my nerves for the last two weeks. This house will be back on the market as soon as I finish the refurbishing. Don't know what else to do.
Aug 13, 2009 9:15 AM
Guest :
I live in a very upscale quiet neighborhood on a very remote street. It’s a plus because it’s my little piece of sanctuary in the world, but also a prime target for would-be burglars. I’ve had 2 different windows broken into that were locked on 2 different occasions of which many expensive and irreplaceable things were taken. On both occasions a crow-bar was used to break the window locks. I’ve now replaced both sets of windows with sturdier locks and have installed an alarm system. It has been 2 years since the last break in and I thought, great, it worked! (I have visible security signs in the front and back yard that light up in the evening and stickers on all of the windows), but as of last Sunday, that all changed.

I was at home that evening on my laptop at the dining room table when I heard a noise from the back of my home. I approached with caution turning on all of the lights as I went. I discovered that someone had tried to pry open yet another window in the utility room nearest the kitchen. The moment I saw the indented marks of a crow-bar on the frame and the screen ajar all of my anxiety returned in one moment and only one thought echoed very loudly in my head, they’ve come back. I just don’t know what else I can do?! I’ve reinforced all of the doors (strike plates and strong bolts) and windows, I have an alarm system with stickers and signs that clearly display it and yet, they still try to enter – while I am HOME this time! That scares me even more. It seems the burglaries in my neighborhood are getting more brazen with every one.

Now, when I do manage to fall asleep, I’m having nightmares about people breaking in, I have to check my entire home after coming in after work and I lay in bed at night just listening…waiting…for it to happen again. My sanctuary is no more and my own home is a source of anxiety. Where can I find peace and safety I deserve, if not in my own home?!
Sep 2, 2009 6:32 AM
Guest :
My house was broken into while I ran out for an hour to run some errands. I was being watched. They threw a large rock through the window and stole laptops, power tools, jewelry and my son's DVDs, even cleaned out my wine fridge. The police showed up quickly, but didn't too much. I hired a private investigator, posted reward signs, put ads in papers and emailed local schools, pawn shops etc. Most burglaries are not random - it is someone you know, a neighbor, or a friend of a friend. In our case, we know who it is, but they have not been arrested, because our stuff as never been found. But the criminal - 30 year old crackhead son of a neighbor failed a polygraph concerning our break-in and his parents have been covering up for him. The states attorney even called to tell us his ex-girlfriend said it was him - yet no stuff, no arrest.

Once you put a face on the criminal it's easier to address the anger... we are still waiting for justice. My 9yr. old son is suffering from trauma.

Sep 12, 2009 9:15 AM
Guest :
I bought my first home 3 weeks ago and was very excited about it. Three days after moving in my house was robbed in broad daylight and they literally used a cart to wheel everything of value out of my new home. I have been so depressed and I feel embarrassed by it. I dont know why I feel ashamed but I do. Its good to see that other people have the same reactions and Im not alone although I wish I were, no one should have to go through this.

I have installed a monitored security system that probably makes Fort Knox look vulnerable. I know I went overboard but I be damned if this will happen to me again. I live in a good neighborhood and I feel as if someone were watching me move in. every car that passes and every person that walks by I look at and wonder. I hate feeling this way and I hope it passes with time.

Oct 10, 2009 7:14 PM
Guest :
I am a teacher in a city school, and my wallet was stolen right out of my classroom this past week. During the burglary, I was right next door talking to one of my colleagues. Normally, I carry my purse with me at all times, but I wanted to catch my neighbor before she left for the day, and I just didn't think about it this time. I am angry at myself for not remembering to take my purse, and I have felt uncomfortable in my classroom ever since this happened. The worst part for me is knowing that the person who stole my wallet is most likely a student who sits in front of me every single day. I am also very frustrated because I keep getting mixed messages on how I should handle this. Some colleagues have said that I should say something to my students because some might have some information on who took it and be able to help me. However, others have told me to keep my mouth shut. I have also been told that going to the police isn't worth it because they won't be able to help that much anyway. I have yet to speak to them, but I'm still wondering if I should.
Overall, I was lucky because my wallet contained very little money and no credit cards. I had to replace my debit card and my license, and I am angry that I had to pay money out of my own pocket for these things. The wallet also contained pictures and some ID cards that I cannot replace. They weren't extremely important, but they had sentimental value. It's been almost a week since I was robbed, and I know that people are tired of hearing me talk about it. However, I am having a very hard time with the fact that they're expecting me to be back to normal this quickly. I don't know when I'll feel normal again or when I'll be able to stop thinking about it. I believe that some closure (finding out who did it and seeing them punished or even just having someone return the wallet) would help, but I feel that it's doubtful I'll get any.
Feb 2, 2010 12:22 PM
Guest :
Saturday morning I was awaken by my family screaming that someone had broke in and that we had been robbed during the night as we slept.

We live in an apartment townhome community and our particular townhome contains a downstairs and the upstairs contains the bedrooms, etc... The burglars removed our living room window screen and threw out our plants and greenery that are kept in the bay window, all of which have sentimental value from deceased loved ones. They threw them outside like they were a piece of garbage. Our window was unlocked, but closed, as it has been for the two years we have lived there. Of course, this one mistake triggers a lot of guilt. They stole all of my children's electronics that they received for Christmas. They stole our electronics as well, including a laptop that contained my business information and personal information. About $3,000.00 worth of personal items were removed in just a few moments.

As a result, so many emotions (as previously named) have come into our family. My main concern is that I did not wake up to protect my children and wife while this was taking place. Had I just heard them, I could have stopped them. Fear is another factor. While no one was harmed during the burglary, the thoughts that we were that close to being harmed or killed makes me that much more scared and filled with so much anxiety. My daughter awoke when she heard them and thought that it was me. Had she went downstairs to see what I was doing at 4:00 in the morning, there is no telling what would/could have happened. Anger and revenge is eating me alive. I am certain they were young adults or children, but I still become angry. Where are the parents? Do they not see 3 new PSP systems, a PS3 system a lap top in their child's bedroom, that they never purchased? Or do they see and they dont care?

As a result, we have barred our windows as if we are in prison. We have put store bought alarms on every window and door. We have purchased a dog. My kids are heart broken that those items they were so proud of, are gone. My wife is afraid. I have not been able to sleep in my bed for fear that I will sleep thru another invasion. So I sleep on the sofa under the window that they came thru and I wait minute by minute, hour by hour. If I am able to get to sleep, I find myself dreaming of being invaded again or some other strange dreams that always seem to involve the burglars.

I wonder how long I will have to live with this state of mind.
Aug 22, 2010 11:58 AM
Guest :
I was burglarized when I went out of town for two weeks (I had only been living in the apartment for a month prior to the burglary). When I got back, everything was gone. I felt extremely violated, paranoid of the people who share my building and embarrassed (I chose to live here after all). Since then I've gotten a home security system, but my mind is still not at ease. Every time I consider going out, I think about taking my small valuables with me and if I don't, I put them in a hidden area. It's a very stressful situation. I still have 10 months left on my lease.
Sep 10, 2010 1:54 PM
Guest :
I'm not one to write comments on the web, but I feel I must after reading the shared comments from all of you. My home was recently broken into, ransacked, and robbed. And though the thief got away with cash, electronics, and my wedding band--all valuable but ultimately replaceable--it's my piece-of-mind that will be the hardest thing to replace, if I ever do. I never imagined the emotional trauma of this sort of personal violation could make you feel so physically ill. And then there are the nightmares. But it is comforting to know I'm not the only one, and that what I'm going through is normal.
Nov 2, 2010 2:34 PM
Guest :
I am so glad that I found this article. I wish we were commenting on a more happier topic, but I am relieved to know that I am not alone.

Last week, I noticed a suspicious car parked partially in front of my house. I rarely look outside in the morning, but I looked this time because the music coming from this car was loud. I continued to look and noticed that the one of the windows in the car was rolled down. After several minutes, the car backed into my neighbor's driveway across the street and continued to sit. I started to think the people in the car were friends of my neighbors, but after a few more minutes, the car drove off. I felt something was just not right but I ignored my feelings. I am so mad at myself for not listening to my gut instinct and writing down the license plate number.

Two days after seeing the suspicious car, our house was burglarized. The burglar(s) knew that we had an alarm (sign is posted in our yard) and turned off our electricity, thinking the alarm would shut off. Next, they proceeded to kick in our back door. While in the house, the alarm system sounded. The burglar(s) started pushing buttons on our keypads and alerted the fire department as well as the police. They got scared, grabbed a mini laptop in our kitchen and ran away.

It's been five days after the burglary and I am an emotional wreck. I am starting to get panic attacks when I get near my house. My heart starts racing, palms get sweaty and I get restless. I've lost my appetite, can sleep or concentrate. I lie awake at night replaying the burglary over and over again in my head. I jump at the slightest noise in the house. I am scared out of my mind and I constantly fear for my families safety. We've lived in our neighborhood for four years and something like this has never happened. I can't stop thinking, "Why us?" Why did these burglars have to disrupt and shake up our lives?

My husband is doing all he can to make me feel secure, but I still feel violated, victimized and vulnerable. He recently purchased a surveillance camera set, more signs for the yard and door reinforcements.

Right now, I just want to sell the house and move away. I just wish our lives could go back to normal, but I believe that we will never be the same again.
Nov 22, 2010 1:07 AM
Guest :
My house was burglarized on Oct. 25, 2010. They took my 52 inch LCD LG TV, weighed over 100 pounds, so there had to be more than one burglar. They took my $600 laptop (needs a password to use), digital camera, 23 inch Olevia TV/monitor, about $600 in coins, Wahl hair clippers, $40 in postage stamps, brand new bottle of Black Velvet whiskey and my piece of mind. I felt dirty the first two weeks, no matter how many showers I took I couldn't get rid of that feeling. When I enter a room in my house I have to walk around and make sure they're not hiding in a corner or behind furniture. I'm constantly carrying my car keys with me just in case I have to run out of my house, and I always have my cell phone by my side. I think with this economy there are going to be more home burglaries.
If you have foreclosures in your neighborhood report squatters to the police and if they won't listen call the real estate agent and let them know.
The house in back of me is in foreclosure. Around Oct 20th I notice the lights on and a car parked in the driveway. I thought the house had sold, WRONG! They were squatters and I know they broke into my house. They were keeping an eye on my family to see what times we were not at home. This happened during the day.
Nov 23, 2010 6:09 AM
Guest :
My story is a little diffrent. My son new the person that came to our home. he stopped by because his foot was bleed really bad and asked my son for proxide. i told him to come in and got his a pan to pour it over. Told my son something smells good. the family was all in living room. Have a galley kitchen cant see thru the wall. told him to make a meatball sandwich. My purse was there. he took my debit card. inside my wallet on small paper i have pin written down as memory is very bad from 2 strokes last year and progressive MS. He aske if he could leave his bike and clothes hear as he is going out. no problem. On computer to pay bills and cant. no debit card. looked all over. Knew right away he took it. looked at transactions being done in difrrent town. all thru the night. Now we were in the negitive. my income check was there, because i alway do it in Oct for money for xmas. and my disability Social security money was int there. now we cant buy a gallon of milk. I dont know what i feel. so many emotions, cry, anger, inavasion of my space. Cop caught him and made to make him a statemet. my was st8 the point. He said I gave him care for dope ore my husband of 27 years would divorce me. Dosnt make sence, Dont add up. Amyone that knows up talks about how funny it is to see the both of us when we are old and married. I asked the officer how many times in the past 10 years did you come over for a domestic. thats right zero times. Why on my 25 anversary did i put a celtic crosss with a ring around it to mean eternity that says my husban on one sid and my name on the other side and on bottom soulmates. my husband and i alway talk about us not being husband and wife we talke about be one not 2 people just 1 and thats how we feel. and for the dope. What do I need, I am on medicine for MS, Lupus, Ataxia. Thyroid, and From the stroke. why the heck would i want to dabble into something that can kill me. I cant even drink a whole beer anymore. MY husband does not do dope unless you call me giving him some 800 mlg of IBprophen when his foot swells up from when it shattered 3 years ago.
So somebody tellme what am i suppose to feel. and how long does this last. thanks cin
Dec 3, 2010 9:18 PM
Guest :
I moved in to my place Oct. 15 and was burglarized Nov. 10. This article was somewhat helpful but the comments were what really helped. They reminded me that even if I am crazy to feel this way -- jumping at every little sound, suspicious of everyone, ashamed at my irresponsibility for not locking the place up like Ft. Knox beforehand -- at least I'm not the only one. I hope someday I can enjoy my apartment again; otherwise, it's going to be a long eleven months. Even with the third extra lock on the front door, the alarm on the back door, and the wooden dowels and screw-on locks on every window, I just don't feel safe.
Dec 23, 2010 7:15 AM
Guest :
I have lived in my house since I was 1 year old. Nothing ever happened to it. After my mother died I bought out my siblings and took over ownership. A week later I was robbed. Entry was through a door not properly locked. They only went to my mother's room and took her jewellery. Most of it costume. We were a poor blue collar family. However it had huge sentimental value. I changed locks, installed deadbolts and considered a security system.
Last week, a year later after the first break in, someone smashed and entered through my mother's bedroom. They looked in her bedroom, but there wasn't much left. This time thet took almost all the jewellery I've been given since I was a child. I can't describe the pain. Losing my mom was very hard and she died in that room they keep breaking into. It's as if people keep stealing more of my parents away from me. Most of all the feeling of security they provided for me in this house. I've had a security system installed. It's not enough. I want my stuff back and the person who did it to face consequences.
Feb 3, 2011 8:34 PM
Guest :
I have to say, everything here is true. My home was broken into (in broad daylight) a couple of days ago. Not only were these losers able to walk out of my house (again in BROAD DAYLIGHT) with 2- 42' flat screens, 2- 32' flatscreens, my ps3 , my kids' WII, & some jewelry that was my wife's grandmother's, they walked all of that right through my backyard to the next street over. WHAT?????!!!! "Oh, look at those guys walking out of a backyard with 4 tvs!" How does that happen? The icing on the cake was the little "gift" they left for us. We live in a cold weather city & in the winter, I keep all of my beverages in my garage, which is attached. These A-holes actually took the time to set two beers right in front of my broken in door as a little "you're going to need these!" A cold shot if you ask me.

I feel violated, stupid, and super angry! I'm not a depressed type of person, nor am I one who is easily upset. But it is eating me up everytime a car rides past my home, or some dude looks at me funny at a local store or the gas station. Is this him? Or was it someone I know, that I trust, who knows what I have in my home; that makes me physically ill. I travel for work alot & the thought of something happening again is causing alot of anxiety around here from the kids to my wife, to me.

I put up new security doors, I purchased a hand gun, & I'm looking into some type of home security system with dome cameras for the perimeter. I may even add a new four-legged member to the family. I'll be damned if they come back in here!
Feb 28, 2011 6:39 AM
Guest :
Got burgled last week, got home from work and found my house got ransacked, they stole all my sentimental belongings... jewellerys, pro cameras and cash. How do these people sleep at night? how dare they do such things, people work so hard for these things. I'm over the sadness stage but feel very furious right now. You hear alot about other people's story and and I lived here for 6 years and never thought it will happen to me. For those fortunate who have not experience this, just one word of advise...don't keep valuable items receipt together with the products...keep them safe somewhere, scan all important document electronically and store in your emails folder (in case they take your laptop, you can retrieve them), fit an house alarm (even if you have to get a dummy one display outside the house)
Mar 20, 2011 9:56 PM
Guest :
The problem is Sustrans and the council. I lived happily at my "detached secluded location" for the first twenty years but the council and Sustrans then created a bike track nearby. This alone would not have been too bad if the council had not embarked on a scheme of "Low cost affordable PRIVATE rented accommodation". The net result is that hordes of "problem people" have arrived in the area and it is these "problem people" who chisel off car badges, use car roofs as trampolines, smash windscreens and commit burglary. Admittedly things have quietened down since a 19 year old burglar was caught on CCTV. I did get of couple of stolen items returned to me by the police but the young man was just given a caution. No court, no newspapers, no community service, no birch or Borstal, basically he was let off. I just wish I had the money to emigrate from this place which is now like a cess-pit full of societies rejects Texas might be ideal as burglars can be shot. OK you may think that I'm a grumpy old so and so but when they steal your laptops, cameras and memory sticks plus many other possessions that took a lifetime to get you will probably feel the same. ALL of the backed-up data such as insurance claims and litigation were stolen as they took everything. More burglaries with the same MO have since occurred about half a mile away. Hearsay evidence states that the address where my stolen property was retrieved from is occupied by a drug dealer who holds parties. Allegedly young addicts pay him for their drugs with stolen property. Of course knowing something and having PROOF that will stand up in court are two completely different things. Allegedly the dealer is to be evicted from his council house but this just means a short move of less than half a mile to the private rented accommodation (the council will pay the rent).
Mar 20, 2011 10:23 PM
Guest :
Very good article. After the first burglary that was really bad I started buying huge safes. The biggest weighs 800 kilos but a slightly smaller one that needs both key and combination weighs about a ton. I haven't got them in yet as my Honda power carrier needs a makeover. As we are not allowed to have guns in the UK and as we have very soft laws the country is a burglars heaven. Buying safes is about all that one can legally do. An adjacent builders yard was also robbed at the same time and a large quantity of copper and slates were taken. Pikeys?
Mar 23, 2011 10:06 PM
Guest :
I was burglarized this morning. I was at work when I received a call from my alarm company. I had to rush home to find the police and maintenance of my apartments waiting on me. The apartment across from me was burglarized also. I feel HORRIBLE. It is good to know that I am not alone in my feelings, but this isn't the first time. The first time was in a different apartment complex and the burglar kicked my door in and only stole a cell phone but my dog was there. That gave my dog tremendous trauma. But when I moved to this complex, I got a burglar alarm. That didn't stop those guys though, but I will say that it kept them from taking more things because they rushed out with my TV and didn't bother to go into the room where my dog was hiding. That is all I was concerned about--my dog. Right now, I'm up and can't sleep because every noise I hear, I'm jumping and looking every direction. All I can do is pray that I make it through this.
Apr 5, 2011 4:17 PM
Guest :
I am a single mum living with my two little girls and our au-pair in North London. It is now 5 days ago and there is no moment of the day that I do not think about those footsteps on the stairs... As soon as I woke up, I knew it was wrong. These were not the footsteps of my girls... nor our au-pair... these were different.. A rush of emotions went through my body. Adrenaline kicked in. I needed to see if my girls were ok. That was the only thing I could think about....
5 days later I realise we have been lucky. It was 'just' a burglar and it could have ended much worse. As soon as he realised I had woken up, he rushed of the stairs, took his bags and left. The laptop can be replaced, and so can the nintendo's, the camera, the presents for our friend, the schoolbag of my daughter and even their piggy banks. But what can not be replaced is my faith.. my faith in people. I am scared. I am scared of the man sitting opposite me in the underground... the man passing me in the street... the man coming to fix my locks...What once was my 'home' is now this place which carriers so many unwanted memories. I know I need to get over this.. and I will... but not sure how long it will take...
Apr 17, 2011 9:09 PM
Guest :
Had termites and had to have our house tented. Stayed at a hotel for 2 days and the day we were supposed to move back home the termite co. called my usband and informed him that they had broken into the house. My husband called me with the news while I was at a sporting event with my son, and I kept waiting for him to say that he was kidding, but the words never came.
I had to leave my sons event to drive home. It was a 30 minute drive and I dont htink I breathed once while I was driving.
As I pulled up to my house and saw the cop cars the nervousness started. I was scared to see my home in the condition. i walked in to front door into a disaster zone. holes in the wall where my tv used to be, my master bedroom took the brunt of the invasion, everything was truned upside down, the mattress, the dresser drawers, everythiong from my drawers were on the floor. I saw dirty footprints tracked across my clothes and underwear on the floor. The took a digital photo frame, even pictures and mirrors off the walls, curtains and rods from a spare bedroom. My son had a little spiderman wallet in a drawer in his room with $4 in it and they took his $4. My husband had just bought a new pair of socks. they STOLE HIS SOCKS!!!!!! They stole a blackberry with pricelss little videos that I had made of my son...i am just sad. I just feel depressed and violated. I keep imagining these crooks walking through my house. I wiped downt he floors and hadles. But I cannot erase the feeling. Will it go away. My husband feels angry sometimes but I am constanlty nervous and sad. I am scared to leave the house unattended. I feel like I have to take all my valuables with me. Thats not feasible. i dont know what to do. I suspect he guys who put the tent ont he house.
May 25, 2011 4:07 AM
Guest :
We were burgled just over 2 weeks ago. We were out for the first time in ages, in the evening. When we got home, I opened the garage door (hubby was driving) and saw the door into the lounge open. I read everywhere now that you mustn't enter the house if you think there's someone inside, but at first I was incredulous that either of us had left that door open, then (once I looked into the lounge) my only reaction was utter shock and disbelief to see the couch cushions on the floor, the cupboard doors wide open, my laptop gone... I ended up staggering through almost the whole house trying to comprehend wtf I was seeing!! The b*strd could have still been there... I just wasn't in my right mind. Just didn't even think...

They took the only valuable things we have: our wedding/engagement rings, 2 laptops and my phone. The horror is just beyond words for me. Oh and they stole the rings' valuation papers too, fckers. The thought that these cherished things are gone, taken by some lowlife scum... probably sold for drug money. The private stuff on the laptops (password-protected) and phone (not password-protected - I'm so angry/stressed about this), I feel so anxious about it.

I'm also stll going through the anxiety the moment it gets dark, as if there are no blinds on the windows... I feel constantly as if there is someone outside at the window/door, busy breaking in RIGHT THIS MOMENT. All night, I sleep with my ears wide open. This house feels too big now, like we could only feel safe in a single room, with everything always in view so we know that we still have our stuff. I feel angry with myself for even thinking putting stuff 'out of sight' would even have made a difference (it didn't!!).

We're in the process of picking up the pieces, but I feel angry. I came from a hectically crime-ridden South Africa to live in safe Australia, only to unknowingly choose the 2nd most burgled suburb in the entire state of Queensland!! Lovely. I feel so angry that these scumbags burgle and do crime, when there are tragically poor people in South Africa, who could only dream of living in such a privileged country. They have such an easy life here, and yet still turn to crime.

I'm angry also because I look at (say) my cupboard that was roughly opened and shut - the poor fish in the fishtank on it were traumatised so badly they remained hidden for about a week! Our poor pet bird was terrified too.

This article is good, but like everyone has said, it's the comments that have comforted the most. I don't know how we'll (all of us commenters) will ever feel at peace again. As someone here said, where in the world can you feel safe, if not in your own home?? Even with alarms and burglar bars and locks and bolts and kickplates and the works?! I think this is going to take quite a while for me to get over!
May 26, 2011 7:50 AM
Guest :
We were robbed last summer. I left to have lunch w/ a friend. I was only gone for two hours when I came home & saw that both front & back doors were wide open. I immediately called the police who arrived in minutes. The house was completely ransacked. Worst of all & this still hurts me a year later, jewelry my mom had given me before she passed away was stolen. How could someone do such a thing? They got fingerprints but it's almost a year later & still nothing. Sometimes I get angry that I worked so hard to get all these valuables & the criminal is getting rewarded by obtaining them all for free with no repercussions.
May 27, 2011 6:20 AM
Guest :
I was burglarized a week ago, we went for shopping as every saturday but this time we took our puppy with us for grooming, by the time we are back everything is gone my house was in big mess especially our bedroom, all my jewelery 22 carat, my doughter's brand new in box nindento dsi which i bought for her coming birthday, i pod,samsung galaxy tab and cash but most important our peace of mind. it s so scary i can t stop thinking of it and feel so insecure i wanted to move out but i m in contract. we feel like i m living in hell every moment eventhought it rental place we still spent money and install security alam because the real estate don t want to do it. i don t know what s my rights as tentent. we are so depress it s kiling me every time i move around the house. I am just thankfull to god that we bought our puppy with us luck she did not see this horible people. i am waiting for my contract to end and want to move out. i need my sleep and peace.
May 29, 2011 11:27 AM
Guest :
My home was burglarized this past weekend. I was asleep on the 2nd floor, the burglar pried open the rear door. My laptop in the parlor was taken. And here's the part that has me terrified.....the thief stole my scanner and wallet which were on the nightstand next to my bed. The thief was in my room! And I never heard a thing.

Now I can't sleep, I pace the floor all night. I just don't know how to get over this.

I have contacted an alarm company, new deadbolts going in, so I should be secure. But the sting is still there.
Jun 5, 2011 11:30 AM
Guest :
My dad was away with his girlfriend for the weekend, and both my brothers at university, since i am a teenager i'm still in schooling and living at home. During the day i was in town, and considered walking home until my mum came to see me. Thank God i didn't since i got a call a couple of hours later from a neighbour saying my dads house had been broken into. I had no-one to be there with me, i had to call the police alone, look around my home alone and see how my room had been trashed, and all my ancestors jewellery stolen. This is my childhood home, and memories completely ruined. I don't feel safe in my own home anymore, and i feel angry at the police who upon arrival did absolutely nothing.. My biggest fear is what if i had have gone home earlier in the day.
Jul 11, 2011 10:01 PM
Guest :
After reading other experiences just described my nervous exactly same. I am so lucky because I did not realized someone actually broke in and it was good thing that my dog woke me up. She was nervous because there were two guys coming in and out to fix bathroom, and kitchen. It seems that it tells someone else to break in. I did not hear because I am deaf, and it s really scary. What bothered me is that they broke meter, got power cut off. Only few things someone stole which is the reason why I walked down and checking outside in front door, not realizing someone was in house!

After this incident, i learned something..keep all flashlights in each bedroom so I can grab and hit that person. And I wish my old dog still is living, he would bite that person. One large dog is not enough. I debate with this issue.. Should I move to apartment, stay home in same place? Knowing there is break in everywhere.. There is no such safe house anywhere unless I have bear in house. I do get nervous, double checking everywhere, locking everywhere, etc. I admit that I check around house before I go bed. It sucks.
Aug 6, 2011 8:49 AM
Guest :
I really appreciate all the previous comments. Thanks to all for sharing your stories. And for those who come after me, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

We woke this past Sunday morning - I was still in bed with our infant - when I heard my husband say my name (long pause) then an expletive (long pause) then "we've been robbed". They came in during the night and took two desktop computers, one laptop, an ipad, an ipod and my purse, totaling around $4000. Slept through the whole thing...which in itself is amazing since we hear EVERY little sound our kids make. We choose to believe it was God protecting us. A confrontation could have resulted in who knows what.

Closing accounts, changing passwords, replacing computers has been a hassle. Losing all photos/videos of our kids from the past six months (including the only pics of our newborn) is heartbreaking. But the part that makes us feel physically ill is knowing that someone was in our house WITH OUR CHILDREN and we never heard a thing. Ugh. We are so thankful it was only stuff that was stolen. But we are still experiencing all the emotions already mentioned by others...anger, fear, anxiety, frustration, embarrassment, guilt. I've heard about people being burglarized all my life but never given much thought to the emotional state it could catapult them into. Well...now I know.

PS - I think the kids will be getting a dog for Christmas...a real barky one.
Aug 17, 2011 7:31 PM
Guest :
My home was burglarized while I was out of town this past weekend. I got a phone call from the police letting me know. They had pried open my bedroom window. I suppose a relatively small number of items was stolen, but that's only a small comfort. The big problem for me is the lack of security. I don't even want to go to work because I'm afraid of leaving the house unattended.

And I find I get angrier every day. The thing is, the police know who did it and have known since it was reported and they haven't made an arrest going on five days now. The kid lives next door to me. How am I suppose to feel my home is safe when he's still free? I'm angry and incredibly frustrated with this whole situation. And I don't think I'll begin to feel better about it until he's in jail.
Jan 30, 2012 11:10 PM
Guest :
This past Friday I checked my voicemail and heard an unfamiliar tone in my husband's voice, "Baby, come home, we've been robbed and they trashed the place." I felt my heart beat out of my throat. Worst case scenarios played themselves quickly in my brain. My first thought went to a delightful painting in the living room that we splurged on when we bought the house...in my mind it was now slashed and ruined; the light fixtures smashed and the home that we had so lovingly crafted, was now destroyed.

My coworker drove me home and as pulled into the driveway, my exhilaration at seeing the cat alive and well calmed me considerably...all members of our household were unharmed. The back door wasn't as fortunate, it had been rammed in with an old batting ram that the previous owner left in the back yard (and their son, who I suspected committed the crime, may have remembered it's location, as we left it where we found it when we moved in, decoratively placed in a flower bed, precisely where the fence was busted in to enter the yard). The thief (or likely more accurate, thieves, as I suspect the previous owner's son teamed up with the drug addict across the street, who had a close relationship with the family) went straight to the defunct security system control panel and removed the battery (a security system left by the previous owners), turned off the power and began grabbing everything that could fit in the house's pillowcases, bags, briefcases and laundry hamper...which was surprisingly a lot of stuff: 2 laptops (including my work laptop) complete with past tax returns (and SSNs, DOBs, etc) on the personal laptop, a tv, a wide collection of our cycling gear (bike bags, helmets, jackets, lights, locks, etc), mp3 players, cameras (including a very nice digital camera), voice recorder, every charger in the house (it was the 1st order of business to replace our phone chargers as all the calls we were making were quickly draining our batteries), anything that was stored in a box or bag: my knitting project; my school supplies, even my yoga blocks (which I'm assuming they thought were housing something fun inside), etc. The hardest loss for my husband was a healthy stash of vanilla beans that he purchased while in Mexico last year, which he estimated to be worth $200 on the street (in this case, an upper-end market) and was likely mistaken for drugs by the perpetrators. Even my cat was robbed...her catnip likely ending up in a joint somewhere. My biggest loss was a pair of hand knit socks that took me FOREVER to make...I kept them bedside to warm my feet in the cold months, alas..no more.

We had to immediately have the door replaced, as the jamb was damaged to the point that the door could no longer be closed. A bowl of odds and ends, including our house keys, also vanished, which required us to rekey the front door as well as cut the lock on the garden shed, which houses the bikes that are now accessory-less.

It is now nearly 11pm on Monday night and it's way past my bedtime, but I've had little sleep in the last couple of days and am hoping a late bedtime will allow for a late wakeup. I have had no problem falling asleep the last couple of days...exhausted from the required tasks of the day: calling banks, family and friends, ID theft agents, preparing a comprehensive list of items for police and insurance. The problem comes after I've slept for a few hours and wake up with a terrifying reminder of something else that was stolen or another detail I had not fully considered which then begins to play itself in my mind, adding to the constant loop of events that keeps me awake for hours and hours.
But not tonight...I thank you for this forum to purge this story from my psyche. It has been a hard couple of days, but I believe sleep will find me tonight, and tomorrow will be a little easier than today which was a little easier than yesterday.
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